Fairground
by Light1
Summary: When a rouge freak is found murdering children it threatens to send Seras into a spiral of self-loathing. Fortunately, her master has other ideas. WARNING: The first capture has non-graphic depictions of the aftermath of child death.
1. Chapter 1

**Fair Ground.**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: Teen and up – due to depictions of violence and child death.

Authoress note: this is a very tenacious and an odd little idea. But it won't leave me be.

* \/ * /\ * \/ * /\ *

{Seras}

The freak had decided to hunt children.

The call had come in and the men's faces had fallen. No one wanted to walk into a battlefield where the bodies littering the ground were children. They had suited up in silence and the ride over had been lacking the usual macho camaraderie of men about to face off against monsters. Seras stepped out of the van and sighed. They were at the fun fair.

"What's wrong?" Pip said from beside her.

"You mean other than what we're about to face?" Seras said. "I used to love the fair when I was …little." She had almost said human but stopped herself.

"Ah yes, the rides, the screams, your girl holding you tightly on the ghost train," Pip looked wistful for a moment, Seras rolled her eyes.

"Fair's hold a lot of happy memories for me, I don't want to lose them," Seras said.

"Why would you lose them, this won't change your good memories. Those good times still happened." Pip looked confused, Seras took a deep breath trying to ignore the reek of blood coming from the ghost train opposite them.

"Typical," she muttered.

"What?" Pip said.

"He's in the ghost train," Seras said, glad Pip was following her change of subject. "It's just so corny." Pip's radio buzzed, and he lifted it. Seras could hear Integra on the other line perfectly well despite being several feet away.

"Hold your men back," Integra said abruptly.

"But we just got here," Pip said. "We're already setting up a perimeter."

"Once the perimeter is set you are to hold back, mop up anything that tries to escape but do not engage the target. I'm on my way."

"You're the boss," Pip said putting his radio back into its holder on his hip.

"Odd," Seras said. "Something must have happened, maybe new information?" Pip shrugged and lit his cigarette.

"You know as much as I do," he said exhaling a plume of smoke.

Seras watched as Pip co-ordinated the perimeter set up and tried to busy herself with patrolling the grounds. She moved quietly through the silent fairground. The owners had set up the rides in the center of the small market town, fortunately, their caravans were located on the edge of town. At least that meant less collateral damage, hopefully. Seras stopped at the edge of the bumper cars and started remembering years ago when she used to go to the fair every year, she'd never had many friends but she had always come to the fair anyway. She had loved the bumper cars, a safe and agreeable way to take out her anger at the world.

She heard a gunshot and turned, she knew that gun. Her master was here. She headed back to where Pip was waiting, he looked pale and shaken.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"Nothing," Pip said, she could practically see him putting his mask back in place. From inside the ghost train, she heard a roar, pip flinched.

"It's just master," Seras said slowly, that roar had sounded furious. It wasn't like him, everything was a joke to him. There was another gunshot and a scream of pain, another shot, and the scream grew louder. "what is he doing?" Seras said.

"I'm glad I'm out here," Pip said. The doors to the ghost train slammed open and a ghoul lurched out, it was moving quickly by ghoul standards and its usual mindless expression looked afraid. There was a quieter shot from above them and the ghoul fell. Seras heard Integra's car pull up as more ghouls tried to escape the confines of the ghost train. Several being gunned down from inside. That was unusual, Alucard didn't normally bother with ghouls.

"He's inside?" Integra said approaching.

"I'd say so," Pip said. "He went in like a man possessed."

"Yes well," Integra pulled a cigar out of her pocket. "It was killing children."

"Seriously?" Pip said. "He's that angry because of children?"

"Aren't you?" Integra said softly. Pip looked affronted.

"Of course, I am, but he's … different." Pip said firmly. "I struggle to see him as the parental type." He glanced at Seras.

"He certainly isn't the coddling type," Seras agreed. "Maybe it's different for little children though."

"It is not the children that upset him, Seras," Integra said. "It's pride, it is the fact the freak hunts those so much weaker than himself." She smiled a little, "your master is angry because the freak has no self-respect."

There was another gunshot and the screaming finally stopped. The silence was almost oppressive afterward. Alucard stepped out of the ghost train, his hands covered in blood up to the elbow, he looked like he had torn the freak apart with his bare hands.

"Target silenced," he said calmer than Seras had expected.

"I'm sure it is," Integra took a long drag of her cigar and turned heading back to her car. "I'll expect a report in one hour … keep it short."

"Well," Pip said glancing at Alucard. "You left us with the easy job tonight." Alucard snorted and turned heading deeper into the park, frowning Seras followed him. They walked through the fairground until they reached the edge, Alucard stopped and looked out at the small town around them. Seras stopped next to him and stayed silent. She wasn't sure why she had followed him, and now standing in silence felt a little silly. But despite that, she didn't want to leave just yet.

"I used to love fairgrounds," she said when the silence got too much for her. "I loved the rides, the food, the smells."

"It smells dreadful." Alucard's tone was low.

"Maybe to you," Seras said. "But not to people, the onions frying, mixed with candy floss and hot dogs. It was amazing."

"Sound's fantastic," Alucard grunted.

"You're only saying that because you have no idea what it was like, I bet you've never been to a fair before." She grabbed his sleeve and tugged. "Come on I want to show you something." She watched for a moment as he stood still, she knew she couldn't move him unless he let her and was relieved when he rolled his eyes and let himself be pulled.

"What calamity are you trying to show me?" he said after Seras dragged him passed waltzers and a set of swings.

"The best ride ever," she said pulling with all her strength. She heard him chuckle as they continued to move at slow walking pace. She smiled, at least he was letting himself be distracted from his melancholy, she hated it when he sulked. She stopped them beside the bumper cars. "Tada!" she announced.

"Mobility scooters," Alucard said.

"No!" Seras snapped. "Bumper cars. I used to ride them all the time when I was younger, you go around the space and try to crash into everyone else."

"The sign says no bumping," Alucard pointed to the sign on the ticket booth.

"That's just so they don't get sued," Seras said. "The whole point is to crash into as many people as possible."

"And this is a point because?" Alucard raised an eyebrow.

"You can smash things," Seras said. "Come on you like smashing things."

"You sound like a primitive," Alucard said but she saw the side of his mouth twitch upwards.

"Well if fun is primitive then I guess I'm a cave man," Seras said with a huff. "We should have a go."

"I don't think so," Alucard said.

"Come on," Seras said heading to the ticket booth. "I bet we can get them going, it'll be fun."

"You're a hooligan," Alucard laughed. "A thug. Trying to break into a fair ride." He followed behind her and took her wrist when she went to force the door. "I did not raise a hooligan."

"You did though," Seras said. Alucard frowned at her. "What?"

"You're different," he said.

"Ok, different how?" Seras said when he refused to elaborate.

"The little police girl I brought to the manor would not be breaking into fair rides when the bodies of children were being destroyed less than thirty feet away." Seras felt her stomach turn to ice. He was right, she could smell the blood and the flames. They had to use fire when it was children, children could easily rise to become vampires, the majority would easily meet the criteria. Seras felt bile rise in her throat.

"Oh," she managed.

"Maybe another time?" Alucard smiled at her.

"Sure," Seras felt her legs shake. What was she becoming to be so flippant about what was happening around them?

"Come on, let's go back before you pass out," Alucard said.

"I'm fine," Seras said.

"You're lying," Alucard smirked. "Come," he pulled her, in the same manner, she had pulled him only moments ago. She followed without complaint, letting her hand fall into his.

 **End of chapter one**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the first chapter.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out katiemariewriter . co . uk

I wrote a Book. A big one and a couple of little ones. Check them out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Fair Ground.**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: Teen and up – due to depictions of violence and child death.

Authoress note: this is a very tenacious and an odd little idea. But it won't leave me be.

* \/ * /\ * \/ * /\ *

 **Chapter Two**

"Is she still the same?" Walter asked as Alucard entered the kitchen via the floor. The ancient monster said nothing, which was a good confirmation. "I'm sure she'll snap herself out of it," he said noting the dour look on Alucard's face.

"I could snap her out of it if you would help me," Alucard said. Walter rolled his eyes and took his tea to the table before sitting down.

"You're idea is not for her, you're doing this to amuse yourself." Walter said.

"She said she liked bumper cars," Alucard said sitting opposite Walter.

"Until you pointed out to her that she was enjoying herself only a few feet away from a slaughter," Walter said.

"You're saying this sulk is my fault?" Alucard said flatly. "In that case it is my duty to remedy it and I know what would work."

"Don't try that nonsense on me," Walter said. "You're not trying to help Miss Victoria after you so splendidly put your foot in it. You're bored."

"It's not nonsense," Alucard said. "It would work, but you're ruining it."

"If it would work so well then why don't you just go to a proper park?" Walter said putting his elbows on the kitchen table and his head into his hands.

"I think you know why," Alucard said. Walter to a moment to consider Alucard surrounded by people screaming and smelling of excitement, adrenaline and fear, the ancient vampires self-control was good but maybe not that good.

"Alton Towers is a marvellous place," Walter said. "I'm sure we could arrange something."

"Bullshit and you know it," Alucard said "Besides no normal park would withstand me or Seras for that matter" Walter raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, I do forget at times that she is so much more than she seems," he leaned back in his chair.

"Besides I'm doing all the heavy lifting and taking the blame should it go wrong," Alucard said.

"When it goes wrong," Walter interrupted

"Ye of no faith," Alucard muttered. "The point is all you have to do is cook something. You cook things every day, why is this so difficult."

"It's not the level of difficulty that's my issue," Walter said.

"When have I ever asked you to cook anything?" Alucard snapped.

"I have heated the blood up for you numerous times," Walter answered

"That's not cooking," Alucard looked triumphant "According to Seras that's making a beverage, not the same thing at all."

"It is more cooking than I should ever have to do for the likes of you." Walter said.

"You are petty, Walter. Petty and cruel," Alucard let out a long huff of air and slumped down in his chair deliberately.

"Aren't you a little old for sulking?" Walter asked.

"I cannot force you, you know this," Alucard shrugged a shoulder. "You know my limitations, what else can I do but sulk and hope you see reason?" Walter flinched, Alucard's words were light but true and it always made the butler uncomfortable when Alucard reminded him of just how powerless the ancient monster actually was. Yes he could tear men apart with little effort but he was tightly bound, restricted to the point where he had to beg for simple things. Thing's Walter could grant on a whim if he so chose. Guilt clenched the old man's gut. To see something as proud and powerful as Alucard reduced to such always made him uncomfortable and the old vampire knew it and used it mercilessly. Bastard.

"But why do you want them, you're not even going to eat the damn things," Walter snapped. Alucard grinned.

"It's not the point," Alucard said sitting up properly.

"Then what is the point?" Walter stood and headed to the freezer.

"Smell," Alucard said, Walter turned and stared at him. "Don't be giving me that look, I know they smell like mud, shoes and boiled entrails, you know they smell like mud, shoes and boiled entrails, but it's not for me or you is it?"

"No, I suppose it isn't," Walter muttered opening the freezer looking for what the vampire wanted.

"Apparently she likes the smell of mud, shoes and boiled entrails," Alucard said.

"You're not going to convince me that you're being nice." Walter said slowly. "No matter how many of these things I heat through for you." Walter took the frozen meat from the freezer and walked to the microwave to defrost them. Alucard blinked slowly at him. "I know deep down that's you're an arsehole."

"I am your almost lifelong friend who has stood by you through wars and puberty and this is how you treat me!" Alucard tried to look crestfallen. "You are cruel to me; you make me bleed on the inside."

"Shut up Alucard," Walter muttered.

"Master what are you doing?" Seras said as she was manhandled in the general direction of the kitchen. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying in vain to tame three-day bed hair.

"Present," Alucard smiled as they reached the door. He stopped for a moment and looked confused. "those daft little car things that crash into each other?" he said.

"Bumper cars," Seras felt her stomach roll at the reminder of her behaviour last week. That she'd been playing in such a place in such a situation left her feeling inhuman. What kind of person did that? Not a normal one, not a human.

"That have paint jobs yes?" Alucard asked. His odd question pulled her out of her funk for a moment and she frowned at him.

"Yes," she said slowly.

"Good," Alucard smiled. "I put go faster stripes on mine." With that he shoved Seras hard through the door to the kitchen and disappeared. The smell hit her instantly, fried onions and hotdog meat.

"Oh god, Walter, I love you," she said walking over to him

"You are very welcome Miss Victoria," Walter handed her a hot dog, "Alucard said something about smelling them, but I doubt eating just one would hurt you to badly." The butler smiled. "I am planning on making him eats the rest."

"What?" Seras said and glanced behind Walter to see forty-two hotdogs piled up on the kitchen table.

"Your master told me of your nostalgia for fun fairs and I have been 'roped in' to helping him cure you of your current upset by reliving this part of your childhood." Walter answered.

"Fair ground?" Seras took a bite of her hotdog and forgot her worry at the current situation and simply enjoyed the flavour. It made her think of when she was tiny, her dad would buy her these every time they went to the fair. Then her brain cut through the wave of nostalgia. "oh god," she said spitting bits of sausage and bun onto the table.

"What?" Walter asked, nibbling at his own sausage in a bun.

"Master was taking about bumper cars a moment ago. He mentioned go faster stripes." Seras looked to Walter who sighed loudly and went back to the cooker, picking up a bun he put a particularly burnt sausage inside and covered it with mustard.

"Oh well lets go see what disaster awaits us," Walter said, Seras frowned at the burnt hotdog. "This one is his, he can eat the rest later."

The two walked together out to the grounds and followed the paint drops over to the quad where the military vehicles were kept. They noticed two were missing and followed the tracks left in the grass until they found Alucard painting go faster stripes on the side of a tank. Both tanks had been made to look like what the vampire might think bumper cars were. They had big painted numbers on them and little strips of rubber glued to them haphazardly, in random places.

"Sir Integra is not going to be amused." Walter said slowly approaching Alucard. "Here, this one is yours." He handed the vampire the hot dog. "Eat it or else."

"I think I'll just hold it for now," Alucard put the hotdog in his pocket. "Stop looking so horrified they're just Bumper Tanks."

"Um Alucard," Walter said.

"I even put rubber on them so they bounce gently off one another." Alucard smiled and then sniffed looking dubiously at his mustard covered pocket.

"That does not look like a lot of rubber, " Seras said. "Is that a pencil eraser."

"Picky, picky," Alucard said suddenly lifting her up and hoisting her into a tank. "In you get then. You to Walter."

"I believe this is Miss Victoria's nostalgia not mine. Walter said and fled the scene with remarkable dignity.

"He used to like tanks," Alucard said mournfully to Seras.

"Not when the other tanks were deliberately trying to crash into me," Walter yelled from a distance.

"Coward!" Alucard yelled back. "Come police girl I will teach you the rules of Bumper Tanks."

"Walter," Integra spoke into the phone. "I am hearing allot of crashing from out in the grounds and it appears that two tanks are periodically trying to smash each other." Her voice was calm and her expression blank. After all Integra had dealt with worse than a small war breaking out in her garden. "We are under attack?"

"No sir." Walter answered

"I did not think so." Integra sipped her tea "preys tell me why Alucard is smashing the two tanks together."

"You assume it is him?" Walter asked although he knew he was simply delaying.

"I do not assume Walter." Integra left the rest unsaid and hung up. "Alucard." She called out knowing he would hear her despite the small war. The war paused before resuming "Alucard come here now, I won't ask again." The war stopped again and there was silence for a few minutes, before Alucard appeared in her room. He was bleeding heavily from his nose which looked to have been broken and one of his hands was oddly shaped.

"My master?" he smiled, healing as she watched.

"Prey tells me what you are doing with my tanks?" She asked expecting a variety of answers but not the one she got. "What the hell are Bumper tanks?" There was a renewed amount of crashing from outside and Alucard moved to the window.

"Police girl pack it in!" he yelled out the window, "I called a time out!"

"Alucard!" Integra snapped, "pay attention! Why are you smashing up my tanks? I will not tolerate such wanton destruction of my property."

"I told you its bumper ... I mean I am educating my fledgling in the way of tank warfare, evasive manovers and such like."

"You're chasing her round the ground in a tank," Integra sighed.

"Pretty much," Alucard looked hopeful. "But it is educational."

"Oh that's alright then," Integra snapped. "I would hate it if you were simply smashing up my property for a lark," she looked out the window. "Why does the education involve painting a large number six on one of the tanks and a nine of the other." The two watched as 'Tank 6' aka Seras continually rammed into empty 'Tank 9' aka Alucard. Alucard growled

"Stop cheating!" he yelled at his fledglings tank. "Or I'm cutting your brake lines and pointing you towards Dover!"

"I do not recall permission being granted or even requested for this 'exercise'," Integra said and gave up on the role-play. "Alucard please stop smashing my property, go tidy up that damn mess and do something quiet and non-destructive or I swear I'm locking you up in the greenhouse at dawn."

"Fine," Alucard sighed watching as 'Tank 6' rolled over 'Tank 9' crushing it completely. A small crowd cheered, Pip was among them. "Seras was cheating anyway."

 **End chapter Two**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the first chapter.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out katiemariewriter . co . uk

I wrote a Book. A big one and a couple of little ones. Check them out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Fair Ground.**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: Teen and up – due to depictions of violence and child death.

Authoress note: this is a very tenacious and an odd little idea. But it won't leave me be.

* \/ * /\ * \/ * /\ *

 **Chapter Three**

"What fresh Hell is this?" Alucard said as the taxi pulled up outside the amusement park.

"Don't you dare ruin this," Seras growled at him as she paid the taxi driver and clambered out of the car. Alucard raised an eyebrow at his fledgling, "and don't give me that look, this was your idea."

"This was not my idea," Alucard muttered but dutifully flowed his fledgling as she led him towards the front kiosk and entrance to the park. "My idea was tanks."

"You can't use tanks as a rollercoaster," Seras said. "The track wouldn't be strong enough for one thing and they don't go fast."

"these are all problems that I could have solved," Alucard said glaring at the young girl Seras handed money to. Seras watched half amused half terrified as the young girl requested her master's wrist, but her worry was for nought when her master presented his wrist and watched with mild confusion as the small paper band was fastened on his wrist.

"Dare I ask," he said to Seras gesturing to the neon orange band.

"It's fast pass," Seras said. "I'm not waiting in queues with you all day, I'll die from stress."

"This means we skip lines," Alucard nodded, "Handy."

"Expensive," Sears said, Alucard snorted. "Any way come on, this way." Seras walked on into the park, leading her master down through the main square filled with restaurants and shops and into the park proper. She paused for a moment before deciding with area to head to first, tugging her still grumbling master by the wrist she managed to direct him towards one of the main attractions.

"I thought you said we skipped lines?" he muttered standing in line.

"You've still got to wait for a carriage to arrive," Seras said. She watched her master watching the rollercoaster as it twisted and looped through the course.

"I can walk faster than that," he said, Seras took a deep breath, she wasn't going to hit him, she wasn't going to hit him.

"This is meant to be fun," she said. "You're not meant to go fast enough that your skin rips off, it's just for fun."

"My version would have been fun," Alucard said as the carriage pulled up, Seras walked on and jumped into he seat, pulling the restraints down and locking herself in. Alucard plonked down next to her and she reached over to do the same for him.

"They wont let the ride go if you're not strapped in, and before you say anything I know you'd be fine if you fell."

"Mine would have been better," Alucard muttered again.

"Your rollercoaster might have killed people, tanks do not run on tracks!" Seras snapped, jolting as the ride started. They slowly pulled out of the boarding station and the carriage started a slow climb up the track.

"Are we having fun yet?" Alucard muttered after a moment.

"I would be if you'd stop ruining it," Seras snapped. The carriage reached the peak and turned towards the first drop. Seras fidgeted in her seat, excitement getting the better of her. She couldn't help but laugh as the carriage dropped.

The ride ended within moments, and Seras had to catch her breath. She glanced over at her master, expecting him to make a smart comment about how slow the ride had been, instead she was pleasantly surprised to see him smiling.

"Ok," he said as they unhooked the restraints. "I'll admit, that was almost fun."

"Almost fun?" Seras said.

"We might have to try different ones till I find one that is actually fun," Alucard said. Seras rolled her eyes, why couldn't he just admit that it was fun? For once she was educating him and despite it being something as foolish as a trip to an amusement park he could at least not be an ass about it.

"Alright," she said. "We'll try the next one."

By midday Alucard had declared none of the rides fun but with several still to go he seemed keen to try others.

"You see this is what a fair ground should be like," Seras grinned looking around at the patrons of the park, families and groups of teenagers. "Good fun, not stuff that gets you yelled at by Integra for ten minutes straight."

"She always yells about property damage," Alucard said leaning back on the grass. They were taking a break, Seras' head felt like it had been cracked against a brick wall, all the rattling and rushing about was exhausting even as a vampire.

"You say that like she shouldn't?" Seras said eyeing up the hot dog vendor.

"The tanks were old and ready for scrap anyway," Alucard muttered opening his eyes when he heard Seras move. "Where are you off to now?"

"Gimme a minute," Seras headed over and purchased herself a hotdog and a bag of candy floss. She dropped the candy floss on her master as she sat down next to him on the grass. "If you say what in the fresh hell again I will slap you."

"Ok," Alucard muttered. "But what is it?"

"Candy floss," Seras took a careful bite of her hotdog and chewed slowly enjoying the flavour. She wasn't sure if she'd manage the whole thing but if she went slowly she might be able to. "Try it before you start on about how rubbish it is." Seras watched him open the bag and sniff.

"Its sugar," he said. "Sugar and chemicals."

"Pretty much," Seras agreed.

"You eat this?" Seras nodded.

"My dad used to buy me a bag every time we came here, I'd get all hopped up on the sugar and run around, usually making myself sick by the time we were ready to go home." she took another careful bite of the hotdog.

"You're trying to make me sick," Alucard closed the bag, Seras rolled her eyes and put the small bag of candy floss into her handbag. Walter would appreciate the gift even if her master wouldn't.

"Nope, just trying to make you have fun," she sighed finishing her hotdog. "Dad used to carry me on his shoulders around the park when I was really small, once I was sick onto his hair."

"Don't even think about it." Alucard grumbled.

"Think about what?" Seras asked innocently,

"My shoulders do not do rides." Alucard grumbled and sat down. Seras laughed, remembering Walter telling her of a time when Integra had been small, she had apparently often used her vampire as a step ladder and purveyor of 'rides'. He hadn't seemed to mind.

"That stank," he gestured to her napkin that had held her hotdog. She shrugged at him, trying to ignore the way he watched the people; as if they were food. Which of course to him they were. It was unsettling, when she looked at the crowd she saw, girl, boy, man, woman, overweight, underweight, short hair, and long hair. But she knew when he master looked at the crowd he saw food, some of it good potential food some of it not so good; some were ill and had thin weak blood, others did not. It gave her chills that she might someday become that way; someday she would no longer see people. She would see a meal, a meal that was denied to her. She wondered briefly if it would hurt her as much as it clearly did her master.

"Come on then," she said standing. "We've still got at least eight more rides to try."

"Is that all?" Alucard asked. "This place seemed bigger?"

"It is, but I didn't think you'd be interested in the smaller rides, tea cup spinners, dodgems, and the like."

"How am I supposed to decide what's fun if I don't try everything?" Alucard said, Seras smiled. It was difficult to believe that the grinning man in front of her had ruled a country at one point.

Four hours later Seras was regretting indulging her master,

"I hate you master." Seras said slowly.

"I told you not to eat the pink fluff," Alucard muttered, carrying his fledgling towards the exit and a dark corner where it would be safe to disappear unseen. "I also told you not to eat the Hotdogs, I could smell cat in those things."

"Yes, but I didn't eat a lot," Seras moaned as her stomach cramped again and her head spun.

"No, you didn't eat a lot, but you ate crap and then you spun yourself around like a lunatic," Alucard sighed happy to be away from the loud music, confusing and vile smells and strange rides most of which seemed to involve spinning.

"You're mean," Seras said feeling her master's cool shadows wrap around them both, Alucard's pace didn't falter or change as he walked through the blackness and came through into the basement kitchen. Walter smiled as they appeared.

"Ah, you have come back ... why are you carrying Miss Victoria?" The aged mortal butler asked

"Because she didn't listen and now she is sick," Alucard muttered putting his fledgling down at the table and stalking off towards the fridge.

"Oh dear," Walter breathed. "What happened?"

"She ate a hotdog, pink fluff, something else she found in her pocket and then decided to go on three rides all of which span in fast circles," Alucard muttered.

"Only because you made the dodgem spin, that one wasn't supposed to spin," Seras complained.

"I had to hit everyone," Alucard said.

"No, you didn't," Seras grumbled, she froze suddenly before getting up and moving very quickly towards the sink. Alucard sighed and Walter looked at her with pity in his eyes.

"Well, there's not a lot we can do but wait for it to pass," Walter muttered when Alucard sat down and dropped three blood packets onto the table.

"We can try another one in a few weeks if you like?" Alucard said as Seras returned to the table.

"But you said nothing was fun," Seras eyed the blood packet. Even through she'd just thrown up her stomach growled, with a defeated sigh she took one and opened it.

"Hence why we should try other parks, we need to try everything before I can say with confidence that they are not fun."

"You're full of shit Alucard," Walter said politely, Sears laughed.

 **End chapter Three**

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the story.

For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates, as well as weekly blogs, check out katiemariewriter . co . uk

I wrote a Book. A big one and a couple of little ones. Check them out!


	4. Chapter 4

**Fair Ground.**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: Teen and up – due to depictions of violence and child death.

Authoress note: this is a very tenacious and an odd little idea. But it won't leave me be.

* \/ * /\ * \/ * /\ *

 **Chapter Four**

"You. Are. Cruel." Alucard said slowly.

"Hardly," Walter muttered, "and I'm getting pretty tired of you calling me that. I happen to be a very kind and forgiving person."

"Then why are you trying to make me do this?" Alucard said.

"I said forgiving not forgetful, and you have yet to ask for forgiveness," Walter said smirking.

"Would forgiveness mean I didn't have to do this?" Alucard asked.

"No." Walter's smirk became a smile. "But it would no longer be a malicious act, rather an emotionless consequence of your actions."

"Well then," Alucard growled. "You can stick your forgiveness up your …"

"Master!" Seras snapped. "Don't say that to Walter!"

"Why shouldn't I say that to Walter, he's being uncommonly cruel," Alucard glared at the aging butler who was still grinning.

"It is pretty unkind Walter," Seras said softly.

"Nonsense, you are thinking of this from your own stand point, if I were to do this to you then yes it would be very cruel, and I would not do so. However, your master here is made of tougher stuff and he needs to understand that when he is an arse about something there will be consequences." Walter sat down at the table. "Besides, I don't understand why you're being such a baby about it, I've seen you eat people whole."

"People, not hotdogs," Alucard grumbled glaring at the plate of hotdogs in front of him.

"Fully clothed people," Walter stressed. "With wallets and keys in their pockets. It's a wonder you don't bring up pellets."

"Pellets?" Seras asked.

"Like an owl, they swallow their prey whole as well, and later cough up little pellets made up of the prey's bones, fur and anything else's that's not digestible."

"I'm not an owl," Alucard snapped.

"So, you're telling me you digest keys?" Walter said.

"One time I ate keys!" Alucard said his voice getting louder. "And you saw what happened."

"Oh, this I have to hear," Seras leaned forward, her elbows on the table.

"When integra's father was head of the family," Walter began. "He pulled a traitor to the crown before him, he summoned Alucard and myself and several others that he suspected of being traitors but could not prove beyond reasonable doubt of wrongdoing."

"He could have proven it if he'd let me follow them," Alucard said.

"You're not as subtle as you think you are, people tend to notice giant red eyed shadows following them around," Walter muttered before turning back to face Seras. "To keep a long and boring story short, he commanded Alucard to eat the traitor in front of the suspected conspirators. I believe to terrify them into …well I'm not certain."

"Probably just to terrify them, Arthur had a sadistic sense of humour." Alucard said grinning. "I liked him for that at least."

"Anyway," Walter glared at the interruption. "Once the deed was done, Arthur spoke to the remaining men, giving a speech about the fate of traitors. When about a minute or two into the speech Alucard starts coughing, not just a little tickle either, but like he was trying to cough up his own heart." Walter laughed at the memory, Alucard had the decency to look mortified. "Arthur turns to him but before he can say anything, a set of bloody keys comes flying out of your master's mouth and hurtle across Arthurs desk."

"They got stuck," Alucard shrugged. "You ever have a set of keys stuck in your throat, I'd like to see you tolerate it any better."

"I managed to keep my composure," Walter said. "One of the men fainted however."

"Gross," Seras muttered.

"But back to the point at hand," Walter said. "These cannot possibly be any worse than that."

"Keys aren't gross," Alucard said. "They're just metal."

"You eat people whole Alucard, shoes, coats, underwear the lot," Walter picked up a hotdog and put it in the vampire's hand.

"Just think of England," Seras smiled. "Besides hotdogs are nice."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Alucard sighed at Walter who shook his head. The ancient monster rolled his eyes and opening his jaw obscenely wide swallowing the offending food item in one go. "Happy now?"

"Next," Walter gestured to the plate where three more hotdogs remained.

"What!" Alucard snapped.

"How much did you let Miss Victoria eat before she was sick? You are supposed to know better and are, sadly, supposed to be looking after her. You're irresponsible and selfish. Eat the hotdog."

"Eating a hot dog isn't going to make me any less irresponsible or selfish," Alucard muttered, Seras had a sudden mental image of what her master must have been like as a teenager and snorted.

"I know," Walter said. "But I said, if you made me make the damn things I was going to make you eat them. I let it go until I found out that you made poor Seras sick. Now eat."

"You're a formidable opponent Walter," Seras grinned.

"You haven't seen me get started yet," Walter smiled widely, Seras raised an eyebrow. "There's at least ten more in the fridge."

 **End fic**

A silly end to a silly story, I hope it made you smile at least 😊

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